Death becomes us: your thoughts on the human body
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I was going to do a post on the first day of school - today is the first day of school here where I live (YAY!), but as I was driving my ever-more impressive 13 year-old daughter Kelsey to school she and I had a most interesting conversation - and as most interesting conversations do, it has inspired a blog post. The conversation began modestly enough - about a topic-of-the-day, namely the tragic bridge collapse in Minnesota. The local radio station was talking about the rescue divers finding more dead bodies in the water. She commented on how - let's see, what were the exact words she used, in 13-yr-old-speak? "EWWW, NASTY!! that would be!!" I recounted a story of how, many years ago I was a part of a volunteer Search & Rescue squad in south Georgia (when I co-owned a dive store) and I had experience finding a dead body first-hand - and that it wasn't a big deal. I mean, after all, at that point it is just a meat sack. It is no different than finding a bigassed dead fish in the water, when you think about it.
You would think that a) I would have said that for shock value (I didn't) and b) that Kelsey would have freaked out at that statement (she didn't). Those of you who have met Kelsey, and who know me, know better. Kelsey is, without question, one of the brightest and most thoughtful 13 year olds I have ever met - and I am not just saying that because she is my daughter. She takes in and measures everything she hears - she delights in "new input", and she knows that I don't give her new input for no reason (OK, sometimes I do just for fun, but in this case she knew that I had a purpose - that I was going somewhere with it).
So, we began a conversation about the human body and the "stigma" and superstition placed upon it by our society. I could see the wheels turning and the lights going off in her heads - new pathways were firing in that head of hers, and I gotta say there is no greater joy to me than when I see her thinking in ways she's never thought before. We reached the school, and we were at the point of discussing my own body at my death - she asked, "so, when you die?" I said, "Honey, you can cut me up and feed me to the dogs. What matters is what we - you and I - shared together when we lived - not what happens to this meat sack when I am dead. I promise you, I won't care." And with that, she giggled and got out of the car for school.
Now, I'd like to continue this conversation here, because I do think it is an interesting one - not only for atheists like me, but for religious folks as well. For instance, I know that there are strict rules about the handling of the dead amongst those of the Jewish faith; I also understand the reasoning behind this from a historical perspective, because the priests at the time figured out that if you left those damn dead stinking rotting corpses lying around there were much higher incidences of disease, so they - excuse me, God - came up with strict rules about the timing and ritual of dead disposal. Smart stuff (actually many of the rules in the Jewish faith are the reason why they have survived so long - there is a great deal of wisdom in those rules, when put in the perspective of the times). But what about other faiths? Or your personal views?
Now, this next part I posted about briefly in 2005, but I am going to bring it up again, since this really is a different context.
I am not talking about all the extra crap around a death - the funeral, etc. We all know that a funeral is for the living - the dead could care less, because, let's face it, they're dead. Funerals allow families and loved ones to gain closure on their loss. I get that.
But after a person is dead - their human spirit is gone, they've shuffled off their mortal coil, etc. - you're simply left with a decomposing meat sack, to be brutally honest. What is our hang-up with what happens to that meat sack? It seems to me what is important is the life we live - not what happens to our rotting corpse.
Oh, and what the hell is with the concept of PRESERVING your body after you're dead? That, folks, is freaky.
WARNING:The next portion of this bloglet is going to be GRAPHIC. I am going to discuss decomposing bodies and other nastiness. If you have a weak stomach, move along. You have been warned.
What is up with this whole interment and imbalment thing? Now I know there are some faiths that require burial of the body - Judaism is one, I believe - but overall I don't get it. You're dead - remember the whole "ashes to ashes, dust to dust" thing? Why in the world would anyone want to inject preservatives into their corpse, then hermetically seal it in not one but two airtight containers (the coffin and the sarcophagus)? Why would you want to preserve the corpse? Oh, and let's clear up that "preserve" misnomer as well. A body that is embalmed and sealed in a coffin and sarcophagus is not "preserved". When processed this way a corpse goes through a process (autolysis and putrifaction) where it is converted to a predominately alkaline state known as adipocere, or "grave wax".
Let me put that into layman's terms. An embalmed and interred body gets converted to, well, soap.
I mean, I would get it if you let the mortician do some type of preservation, such as an embalming, to preserve and enhance the body for a viewing - if the viewing/service isn't going to be for a few days after death. But why the airtight coffin and crypt? Why impede the natural process of letting the corpse return to the earth? Why not simply get planted in a pine box (ok, make it pretty if you want, but not such that it won't break down), and let nature do what nature does?
I just don't get it - in MY opinion attempts to preserve a body (especially if it is your own wishes) is vainglorious. Why not be buried in such a way as to break down naturally as quickly as possible - obviously within health codes? Me personally, I am going to be cremated (or, as mentioned earlier, Kelsey can feed me to the dogs
So, if you have an opinion, or can explain this to me, please do so.
Rock
**If you ever catch on fire, avoid looking in a mirror. I'd bet that's what REALLY throws you into a panic.







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Comments
i'd like to be wrapped in a shroud, put on a pyre, and burned. and with any luck, my family and remaining friends would cry, howl, dance, laugh, and get exceedingly drunk around my remains as they burned.
since that probably won't happen though, cremation would i suppose have to suffice. it's funny, i wrote a poem about my ruminations on death a little while back. part of it was about the whole going into a coffin thing. it doesn't make sense to me at all. i'll have to post that sometime soon.
the mayans believe that the soul requires songs and tears in order to move onto the next life successfully. songs and tears are like some kind of fuel, or the raw materials for the vehicle used to travel to the stars where you are reborn into the next world. having sung and cried over my grandmother when she died, i can attest to the power of those things at the moment of death.
well, suddenly i have nothing else to say. man rock, how is it you have evoked this from me twice now, and i've hardly said anything about it to anyone else?
Posted by jonvon At 04:26:31 PM On 08/09/2007 | - Website - |
I am also a registered organ donor, so when I die, take of me anything that is useful. But I intend to live the rest of my life discracefully to most of my stuff will probably be worn out or well past it's use-by-date.
However, I also resent my family having to pay some funeral home thousands of dollars to dispose of my body when I die, so when I read a few years ago that the local council fined a woman several hundred dollars for burying her husband in the back yard, it got me thinking about a much cheaper alternative....
Ian
Posted by Ian Randall At 07:59:36 PM On 08/12/2007 | - Website - |
Posted by Rod Westwood At 02:30:23 PM On 08/09/2007 | - Website - |
Posted by Nathan T. Freeman At 12:27:20 PM On 08/09/2007 | - Website - |
I'd hate to be responsible for not only destroying an entire career field; but starving an entire group of creatures to death. (Not really accurate -can the undead actually die?)
-Devin.
Posted by Devin Olson At 01:16:08 PM On 08/11/2007 | - Website - |
Posted by Roy Rumaner At 02:00:56 PM On 08/09/2007 | - Website - |
I think you're not attaching sufficient weight to your body as the most significant bit your loved ones engage with. When they eat with you, talk with you, think about you they see your body walking and talking.
From my limited experience it seems that the body of a loved one is very important to the living after death. When that body has been damaged, destroyed, or lost it can makes things much more difficult and traumatic.
I can agree with your point of view completely (except when you describe it as a meat sack not sure I like that). Perhaps I'll leave it up to my family to decide how best to dispose of my remains it won't stop me expressing a preference though.
BTW I ought to be able to see Thestrals on a few counts.
Posted by Jason At 07:33:34 AM On 08/13/2007 | - Website - |
But I find one odd thing in your post -- If your child says it is nasty, I find it odd that you then say it is no big deal. In one sense, that is true - a dead human is equally nasty to a dead fish. But both are nasty. So her statement was quite correct.
But saying it is no big deal is not correct in my mind. A dead fish doesn't leave behind grieving people. (Goldfish owned by toddlers as a possible exception.) It might be more accurate to say that both are nasty, but only one needs emotional support. And that is true regardless of belief systems.
Posted by Dave At 04:31:56 PM On 08/10/2007 | - Website - |
Rock
Posted by Rock At 12:03:33 PM On 08/09/2007 | - Website - |
Basically they make you into freeze-dried plant food. Help fertilize that memorial tree the family will plant in your honor!
Posted by John Palmer At 08:50:00 PM On 08/12/2007 | - Website - |
Posted by Charles Robinson At 01:36:39 PM On 08/10/2007 | - Website - |
Coffins were historically used primarily to ease transport of the body to the graveside. Embalming was introduced to preserve the body until it could be buried. (Mummification is an entirely different thing.) The sarcophagus you refer to is actually a burial vault. Its primary purpose is to prevent the coffin from being crushed, which leads to the graves sinking. The vault is solely for the benefit of the cemetary. Making them airtight just makes them last even longer.
So the vessels and methodology have practical application, even if they have been sanctified to a large degree by most Christ-based faiths. Coffins and funeral vaults are not universally required for burial. It depends on local health codes and the rules of the cemetary.
Posted by Charles Robinson At 02:30:25 PM On 08/09/2007 | - Website - |
As for the organ donor issue, it sounds like a no-brainer, yet many people shy away from it. I was reading an article about this the other day, there are a surprising amount of doctors and hospitals that "pull the plug" sooner on a comatose person who is an organ donor rather than waiting longer to see how they do.
Posted by Jess Stratton At 05:49:59 PM On 08/09/2007 | - Website - |
Posted by Jenny At 07:20:02 AM On 09/15/2007 | - Website - |
In the USA there are lots of rules about what you can and can not do (legally) with a dead body. I for one, would like to be treated like the dead fish of pilgrim times - bore a hole in the ground, drop my body in vertically, add dirt, plant a tree on top ... "plant food". Seems reasonable enough.
Unfortunately, I have been told this is illegal. My body may be cremated or it must be "processed"; put in a box; that box put in a concrete box; and that put in some very expensive soil.
Now that I'm a farmer, perhaps I'll just get buried out in the corn field ...
Posted by Glen At 12:14:17 PM On 08/10/2007 | - Website - |
It's funny because there's many of the Jewish laws that seem to have a "logical" reason (or at least that may have been logical for the time in which they were originally introduced) but that actually have a different basis according to the writings. Okay, sometimes the reason brought down in the writings is just because "G-d said so", which I know probably doesn't sit well necessarily with an atheist. But that's sometimes where we have to take that "leap of faith" that our writings, even those that are we know are man-written, are at the very least, G-d inspired.
Posted by Jackie At 12:43:51 PM On 08/10/2007 | - Website - |
In the cities I think about 80% get cremated, and in the more rural areas somewhat less. However, the number is now starting to decrease, mainly due to immigrants from countries/regions/religions where they prefer regular burial.
However, the normal thing in Sweden is that the body get embalmed, often it can take a few weeks between the death and the funeral. There are several reasons for that, among them the fact that there are not as many funeral homes (making big business, so funerals are much less expensive), and all/most funerals take place in churches, so you need to book one, get a priest, have the family meet the priest to talk about the cermony, the dead, etc.
My mother died on January 28, and the funeral was almost a month later. Freaked my aunt from Germany out, there they usually have the funeral within 3-4 days. My american (now ex-)wife also reacted on that, the long time between the death and funeral. But in a way it can be nice, you get time to mourn, and then the burial is a nice celebration.
Personally I want any useful organs to be given to needing people, then burn the body. Already the old norsemen ("vikings") burned the dead, I think that would be nice.
Posted by Karl-Henry Martinsson At 01:55:01 PM On 08/09/2007 | - Website - |
Seriously, I agree with you on this topic. I am a organ donor and when anything useful (if there is something useful in me
Posted by Roberto Boccadoro At 09:14:24 AM On 08/10/2007 | - Website - |
I think that the whole concept of a <a href="{ Link } body farm </a> is a very cool thing. You can donate your body to any number of research facilities in the country where forensic scientists can study what happens to a body left out among the elements, or stuffed in a suitcase for 5 days, or any number of ways to go.
Posted by Sarah Boucher At 10:05:10 PM On 08/19/2007 | - Website - |
My family has always openly discussed death and we all know what the others' wishes are long before the need to make a decision arises. This has been a huge source of comfort when we find ourselves in the throes of profound grief. When it occurs, we all know that we are fulfilling the wishes of our loved ones, and we are immune to any attempts to profit from our grief.
I am heartened by the number of organ donors who posted. Our family are also organ donors, and living in the Buckle of the Bible Belt, we never cease to be amazed at how the idea of christian giving seems to end where the notion of desecration of the dead seems to begin. I find this paradoxical because, to date, my loved one's gifts have given life, or improved quality of life to many, many people. One organ donor can provide bone for as many as 50 who need this gift that shouldn't be marketable. For myself, the idea is very sweet. My brother's corneas gave sight to someone who would otherwise be blind. His other gifts helped uncountable, unknowable others, but the best thing of all is knowing that he didn't really die at all. He's still out there living, walking around, talking, as a part of those who received. We don't know the people, but it doesn't matter, as our hope is that these gifts give at least as much joy as deep as our grief at 'losing' our own.
No thanks is necessary as these things were all gifts to each of us from our creator, and we believe that we are all here to help one another.
Of course, we are American Indian and our particular cosmology doesn't view death as total annihilation. We believe our dead are always with us, and even if one can't bring oneself to believe this literally, it is true practically. Isn't it true that none of us is formed or develops in a vacuum, so in a sense, each of us is the sum total of all our ancestors.
I am also familiar with the paranoid belief that doctors will 'unplug' the organ donor before they would a non-donor. Having spoken to ER workers and doctors I don't believe this is true. In fact, it has been our experience that because one is the organ donor they need to keep the body functioning as long as possible in order to keep the organs functioning healthily. It may be different for coma patients, but I think this is sensationalized, because scary, like sex, sells copy.
Amazingly enough, I see people who are against organ donation have their loved ones embalmed, the ultimate in desecration of the dead. I know what they do, having family and friends who've worked in the industry. Every one of them had left explicit instructions: DO NOT LET ME BE EMBALMED!
But most Americans are ignorant of the roots of this 'old tradition.' Embalming in America only caught on around the 1920's and quickly took root as some kind of established tradition. It isn't.
There is also hype about disease, sanitary conditions, blah, blah, blah. The truth is that one of the first things they do is drain the blood. Where does it go? With everything else that goes down the drain! It is actually more unsanitary to have a body embalmed.
This really came to light when AIDS arrived in America. It's just more scare tactics.
Being A.Indian we have our own property in Okla. and we don't have to follow any laws. Just as the Bible tells us how to do many things, it never tells us these two: How to have a wedding ceremony, nor how to bury our dead.
We opt out of the funeral home's usual rigamarole. You can too.
PBS's POV show called "A Family Undertaking" really lays it out regarding what you can do.
Lisa Carlson's book "Caring for your own dead" is a great book that provides state by state requirements. Here we are only required to have a certificate of death, but nobody can tell us what to do with the body after we take it home.
Be aware that your wishes mean nothing if you die in a different state from where you will be buried. Federal law requires embalming for any body transported across state lines. How sick is that?
Also, most funeral homes are corporate now, if that matters to you.
Re: the post that airtight vaults and airtight caskets are to prolong their durability, I think that's bogus. The sole purpose of that is to give false comfort to the bereaved when they are most vulnerable. Airtight cannot stop the anerobic bacteria that will cause liquifaction of much tissue, but it does mean a corpse can enjoy this in their airtight casket!
There's nothing wrong with a sinking grave. Our family engages in regular maintenence of the grave for the first year, but in a cemetary they are only concerned with keeping a level surface with green grass growing and that's why they require a vault. They can't be troubled with any dynamics of your loved one's gravesite, and besides, a sunken grave might damage their landscaping equipment. One must decide one's priorities.
Rock, I love that you even discussed this most natural of subjects with your daughter. But don't have yourself fed to the dogs, because you are creating a job (cutting you up) that your loved ones would likely find unbearable. (I know you were joking)
You should, however, tell her exactly what you wish to be done. This will save your family from the agonizing decisions that can lead to a ridiculously, and unnecessarily expensive funeral. Tell your family now, write it down, so that they are not preyed upon for profit when they are most vulnerable. Your instructions will give them strength and peace long after you are able to do so as you do now.
Peace to all.
Posted by Tall Deer At 07:47:31 PM On 09/15/2007 | - Website - |
<br />Since you specifically mentioned the Jewish rituals around burial, I figured I'd chime in. I won't claim to be an expert, as thank G-d, I still have all my immediate family living. But from what I know of Jewish practice, it actually does NOT allow embalming or preservation of any type (and, as a result, burials usually take place within 24 hours or so). It actually IS intended as the "dust to dust" concept, to the point that the preference is actually for a coffin with holes in the bottom, when allowed by law. And the coffin is supposed to be a simple pine box (partially also to signify that regardless of who you are or how much money you have, everyone is buried in the same manner). The body is supposed to be buried in as close to its entirety as possible. This even includes tissue or blood that may not be attached. If you've ever watched the footage of the aftermath of a terrorist attack in Israel, you'll see volunteers (usually they're the ones wearing orange vests) who are painstakingly collecting every bit of tissue, blood, and bone possible, to be matched back up with the person it came from so it can be buried together with the rest of the body. That is also why there have historically been some issues around organ donation. But more recently, it's been pretty well established that the Jewish law of saving a life above all else ends up overriding this (though even then, there are stipulations, like any organ harvested should actually have an intended recipient - not just be going to an organ bank, and of course you have to deal with the issue of when a person is actually considered dead).
Posted by Jackie At 02:57:47 PM On 08/09/2007 | - Website - |
With regards to Christianity, there is no doctrine on what should happen to a body after death. Since we believe that Christ will resurrect his followers, it doesn't matter what has happened to our bodies. Specifically, there is no teaching on how a body should be handled. Many of the early Christians were probably buried in catacombs (like much of the society in general).
Posted by Chris Whisonant At 01:03:59 PM On 08/09/2007 | - Website - |
I, too, am an organ donor. My sister, Beth, signed up to be an organ donor as soon as she got her license at the age of 16. Little did we know that one year later, her intentions would be fulfilled. Not to go into the details, but my sister ended up in a coma and on life support at the age of 17, and without hesitation, my family decided to donate her organs.
A few days after she passed, we read a story in a local paper about a teacher who was diabetic and had been on an organ donor list to receive a new pancreas for a while and had been fortunate enough to receive one at the same hospital where my sister had passed. I had a feeling when I read the article that my sister had been her donor. We contacted the woman, and sure enough, it was.
So while the body becomes of no further use to the deceased, it did provide comfort to my family to know that my sister has helped others to fulfill lives that they might otherwise have been unable to.
As for me, it's strange that the experience of witnessing my sister's passing has enabled me to be more at peace with the inevitability of death. It has also made me reexamine how I live - isn't that what this whole thread is really about?
Posted by Sarah Boucher At 09:59:16 PM On 08/19/2007 | - Website - |
"Look at Ernie...what a showoff! He still has part of his face on"
Posted by Chris Blatnick At 01:07:36 PM On 08/09/2007 | - Website - |
A follow up from your line of "meat sack" thought...if it is the case, that once our human soul or spirit is gone, the body is little more than debris - why then are people so hung up on things like organ donation? I mean, obviously the organs are not being used anymore? and depending on the culture of the decedent they are only going to be cured, burned or buried and allowed to rot...seems like a waste.
Posted by Ken Barker At 11:44:52 AM On 08/09/2007 | - Website - |
1) Huge wake in the Irish style. Keepin' the whiskey cold with the corpse, and all that sort of thing (though this corpse might actually smile if you put a bottle of gin in with her). Laughter, tears, noise and of course, singing. The tackier, louder and drunker, the better.
In fact, since I'm going for "the long sleep", dress me in P.J.s, and bunny slippers. Give everyone a giggle as they walk past. And why not?
2) Give my organs to whomever might need 'em. Unless they're of no use any more. I have signed my organ donor card, but just in case...I'm telling you lot.
3) And, though it's likely not legal, let's go viking and burn me on a pyre. Seriously, I won't need the body anymore and it's another excuse for dancing, drinking, tears, song, i.e. partying!!!
Question: Why do we spend so much time planning for and celebrating a birth, and hardly any time at all planning for and celebrating a death? If you're a Christian (or select deity of choice), shouldn't death be about "We'll miss you, but hurray you're with God now"? Even if you're not, if you were at all loved, shouldn't it be about "Let's all celebrate the life so-and-so had and share our experiences of so-and-so with each other"? Either way, there's an element of celebration in there that's often solemnified and overlooked.
There a potential for a nich-market here: Death Planners.
How do you want your funeral to go?
Maids throwing flowers, cremation, purple streamers, people dressed like elves...whatever...if it's legal, we'll make sure that it's done, on your 'special day' (cash up front, if you please).
When I was in High School, there was an elective English Literature course called Death Study. It was, quite literally, a study in literature of how death is celebrated in all kinds of different cultures. The final field trip was to a graveyard. Some might consider it macabre, but it was actually really interesting (of course I took it...c'mon).
Our culture is one of the least prepared for death. It's one of those 'hush-hush' topics that aren't taught in schools or even discussed out loud, for the most part.
In addition, people are unprepared to discuss death not just because of lack of incorporation of death teachings into our culture, but also for fear of the potential for emotional impact. Our cultural roots make us fear anything that might cause someone the embarassment of a public emotional reaction. Why is it that grief is not considered a normal part of life, even in today's supposedly enlightened and worldly society?
Posted by ChangeWarrior At 05:16:03 PM On 08/17/2007 | - Website - |
@Devin (19) - I can always expect you to bring some (in)sanity to our conversations! LOL!!
Rock
Posted by Rock At 05:50:46 PM On 08/11/2007 | - Website - |
Rock
Posted by Rock At 03:51:59 PM On 08/09/2007 | - Website - |