Lotus Geek :: Where oh where has my little hair gone?

You may not have noticed it or not, but I'm getting older (I'll wait while you clean up your computer screen from where you just spewed laughing). I'm 45, and halfway to 46. Now, I accept a few things about getting older:

I'll get some wrinkles, and eventually look like a prune
I'll probably gain a few pounds; I've been able to keep my weight in check so far, but I can't exercise very much anymore. And while new knees will help (getting them in 2010), I accept that it's only a temporary solution.
My already "high forehead" would continue to "grow", and I would eventually be predominately bald

Now, I do not plan to fight aging; in fact I intend to embrace it, and while that means that I will accept - and even celebrate - the evidence that I've lead a good life, I do not intend to just sit back and do nothing to at least avoid looking comical. So, for instance, I intend to probably grow a big ol' white beard in 15-20 years, and probably look like an elfin Santa. Why? Well, why not? I CAN grow a bushy beard, might as well do it when it finally looks kewl.

But this post isn't about my beard; nor is it about my weight. It is about my hair (or increasingly lack thereof). My hair has begun an accelerated and full retreat off of my head; and in fact it appears to be in a race between it all being grey/white, and it all being gone. I have always said that I would not sport the, shall we say, "popular" MPB (Male Pattern Baldness) haircuts, such as the "Bozo the Clown" (thick hair around the sides, none on top), the "combover" (aka the "car hood"), or the "unicorn" (you've seen it - guys with that tuft of hair right in the middle, a little island of "bald-faced" defiance). In fact my solution is to eventually shave (or very, very closely cut) my hair, similar to one of these distinguished gentlemen:

Ed Harris - cropped pretty short, but with some length - maybe 1/2"

Patrick Stewart - basically shaven, with a "five o'clock shadow"

Then we have the exceptional John Malkovich, two ways:

John Malkovich #1 - another shaven/five o'clock shadow

John Malkovich #2 - short - maybe 1/4", with it going straight down to his beard, all the same length (nice touch)

And of course, there's completely cleanshaven.

And one more - we can't forget our favorite resident big bald teddy bear, vowe:

Volker does a nice shaven head (sometimes a bit of fuzz), with a beard or goatee.

Now, I have noticed that many bald/balding men also have facial hair; I don't know if this is overcompensation, or just done to provide "balance". In any case I know I can't have a beard/goatee now, because it is about 50/50 white/light brown. Maybe with a shaven head, that would be ok; I don't know.

Well, I believe it is coming up close to the time to ditch the hair. Don't think so? My family didn't either - until I pointed it out to them. Here, let me show you...

Rock - front

Rock - left

Rock - right

So, there you have it. As you can tell, if you're honest (with yourself, if not with me), my hair is going back rather quickly. My high forehead was noticeable from the sides a little when I was younger, but now the receding hair line (in full retreat to the rear, no stragglers left in the "front") is increasing how quickly it moves. And like I said earlier - I don't mind it going away - I earned it - but I just want to make it not look stupid.

I want your honest opinion. Be frank. Be brutal. Use a fake name if you don't want to hurt my feelings (BTW - you can't - ask my best friends). I just want to know what you think.

And who knows - maybe I'll be sporting a new hair-do at Lotusphere 2010

Rock

Comments

1 -
Can you really afford to lose that extra half inch of height that comes with the hair? I think you should consider a rasta style, corn-rowed & dreadlock style wig. I'm just sayin...

Emoticon

Posted by Andrew Pollack At 09:51:05 PM On 12/02/2009 | - Website - |

2 - I tried to keep my hair "comb-able" for a long time, knowing that I'd love to do something like the Ed Harris look. I just couldn't bring myself to take that "really short" step. It wasn't until I went swimming on vacation one time that I finally made that leap. I combed my hair down flat and left it that way, and liked it. I then went to SuperCuts and told them what I wanted. Turned out to be a clipper with a #4 head on it. 10 minutes, and I was done.

Now, I have my wife cut my hair, and I use a #2. My indicator that I need a "trim" is when I wake up in the morning with parts in my hair I didn't go to bed with.

The #2 is quick (five minutes), cheap (one saved trip to SuperCuts pays for the trimmer), and very easy to maintain.

Posted by Duffbert At 09:52:32 PM On 12/02/2009 | - Website - |

3 - Grow it long in the back and go for that creepy-old-guy-with-pony-tail look. Emoticon

Posted by Devin Olson At 10:24:31 PM On 12/02/2009 | - Website - |

4 - Rock, Don't ditch the hair ENTIRELY.. maybe just a bit shorter.
but hair doesn't really matter. It's your witty personality that we love... hair or no hair :)

Posted by Mary Beth Raven At 11:18:33 PM On 12/02/2009 | - Website - |

5 - I've been rockin' the shaved head look for quite awhile now and I'd never go back.

I started with the hair clipped close for several years and finally got up the nerve to shave it. Got so many compliments decided not to go back.

When I started the process I also had a salt-and-pepper goatee... after a couple of years it was much more salt than pepper and I finally got talked into shaving it... all of a sudden people started acting surprised when I told them I had college age kids. Don't plan to go back to facial hair until I retire and want to look my age.

Some of it is genetics - I've got a full baby face like my dad and except for a few crows feet and some neck wattles in his 70s he never had many wrinkles... but the big thing is without facial hair there aren't the normal age clues. I'll hit 50 next April but people regularly do double takes when I say I've got kids in their twenties.

If you're worried about making the drastic change from lots of hair to shaved head... do it in stages - try the clippers with a #4 - which is about 1/2 inch, when your family gets used to that go for the #2 - which is about 1/4 inch... then either drop to the #1 or clippers with no attachment.

If you wind up stopping with the clippers you can usually do it yourself (with a bit of QA on the neckline) once a week or every other week depending on how fast it grows. If you to to the full shave it's still pretty low maintenance. I'm an electric razor guy and I just shave the whole head when I shave my face... will sometimes skip the scalp over the weekend. With a blade shave you could probably get by with once or twice a week.

Good luck! Whatever you do post pictures!

Posted by Chuck Dean At 11:51:42 PM On 12/02/2009 | - Website - |

6 - I haven't taken the leap yet myself. I do get it cut shorter now than I used to, but I also go longer in between cuts. But I have to admit... I've been thinking about it quite a lot recently.

But somehow, I don't think that the shape of my head would be quite as aesthetically pleasing as those of the distinguished gentlemen pictured above.

Posted by Richard Schwartz At 11:55:23 PM On 12/02/2009 | - Website - |

7 - Get your wife to support your decision. All others probably don't like you only because of your hair cut. Of course your children are important too but at a certain age they don't care about your hair and if they are younger they don't have a choice anyway.
Having first read your story and looking at the pictures I think you could also leave it as it is.
You could also put some straw on your head and then look like Elton John.

Posted by Henning Heinz At 03:38:46 AM On 12/03/2009 | - Website - |

8 - Shave it !!

Posted by Richard Shergold At 04:22:49 AM On 12/03/2009 | - Website - |

9 - What little I know is this: Any hair stylist worth his/her salt will tell you that you're better off keeping the hair on the shorter side.

I think that you're on the right track with the pictures you were looking at. Based on your ear position/shape, I think that you'd look pretty good with a shinehead. That's the one thing you have to watch out for - If I shaved my head, my ears would be a bit too prominent without some hair to offset them a bit.

And, of course, the old saw: "It always grows back!" (At least the parts that are still there.)

Posted by Brian Miller At 09:38:27 AM On 12/03/2009 | - Website - |

10 - Rocky, don't worry too much about your hair. Don't put a dead squirrel on your head (Donald Trump) and don't shave it.

I don't shave. Not on my head, not in my face. I just cut it short. About once a week with the same machine a hair "stylist" uses. For the last 25 years or so. Did not know John Malkovich copied that. Emoticon

In that photo above, is that a mullet-in-the-making?

Posted by Volker Weber At 11:15:41 AM On 12/03/2009 | - Website - |

11 - I say use the trimmer on a 3 mm setting (which would be something like 1/8" I think), and if you don't like it, let it grow back.

The more bald I've become, the shorter I've cut my hair, and it's really comfortable too.

Posted by Peter von Stöckel At 03:26:21 PM On 12/03/2009 | - Website - |

12 - I come from a family that keeps a full head of hair all their life. We also gray up early; I was mostly gray by the time I was 30. For much of my life, I've lived with a fairly long pony tail and at around 40 added a full beard. Sort of Sean Connery in that movie, you know the one (age hasn't dimmed my memory, nooo way).

About a year back, I did the Saint Baldrick's thing and donated the hair to charity ($2 grand, not bad!). Going from hair down my back to no hair at all was a total shock. I have, however, grown to really like the short hair. I buzz it down once a week with a trimmer and it never gets much longer than 1/4". Dead bang easy to car for, cool in the summer, a bit cold in the winter but all in all a great option.

Hey, it's hair. Shave it off. If you don't like it, in 2 weeks it's back.

I'd go for the beard too...multi-color works just fine.

Posted by Doug Finner At 07:00:26 PM On 12/03/2009 | - Website - |

13 - Stop overclocking your frontal cortex*! The excess heat is killing the roots!

*The portion of the brain that's involved with reasoning, planning, abstract thought and other complex cognitive functions.

Posted by Bruce Perry At 11:45:24 AM On 12/04/2009 | - Website - |

14 - You're hair isn't THAT thin, based on the pics. Don't go bald from what you have now unless you know you have the head for it. I've seen a few people go bald who had weird little imperfections in their shape that weren't noticable with hair, and it really was hard not to gawk. Little lumps, irregularities, moles, etc. I'd recommend doing what others have mentioned...just do a short Caesar thing. It's a good compromise. Emoticon

Posted by Jason At 02:28:27 PM On 12/04/2009 | - Website - |

15 - So, I think the really short cut with a beard is the way to go (ala Malkovich #2 Emoticon

). I'm still thinking about it, but IF I do cut it, that's where I'm going.

My daughter Kris actually convinced me - she's replied to me on my Facebook page (my blog posts automatically show up there), and I think her advice is sound:

Daddy. I think you should go with the John Malkovich #2. and DYE your beard & mustache & hair grey. That way it's all the same color, and you can just skip the waiting until it all turns grey..and you can go ahead and get it done, instead of being embarrassed while you wait! Dana could dye your hair and facial hair for you too!!

Dunno about the dying grey - I may get it colored, but I'm not sure if I'll go grey. I'll see what Dana (the lady that cuts all our hair) thinks.

Stay tuned - and I would still love to hear any more opinions that may be out there Emoticon

Posted by Rock At 12:14:42 PM On 12/05/2009 | - Website - |

16 - Rocky, you are a smart guy, recognizing an opportunity for growth/change, and, I want to point out, there's also an opportunity to increase your cool appeal.

I am definitely for it: cut it, get some equally cool glasses* and reveal your inner self (not in a Show-n-Tell Thursday way). It'll grow back if you don't like it.

I agree with your daughter that you need the Malkovich, at times with the (short) beard, at times without, but I like the super short hair, not all gone.

*let your daughter pick out the glasses, she knows what she's talking about.

PS Besides having a fresh cool cut, most of Ed Harris' cool in that picture comes from his cool clothes. I wish my nerdy programmer husband would let me dress him like that!

Posted by carleene At 09:02:31 AM On 12/07/2009 | - Website - |